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A Thankful Heart | Day 5.

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Today I am thankful for technology.

We use technology for so many things – life saving equipment, photography sharing, communications, etc. So often we use it that we don’t even realize it anymore. The word technology contrives images of computers and smart phones but there’s so much more than that.

With the use of technology I’m able to snap pictures of my boys, load them to my computer, and either upload them to Facebook or email them globally. With a few clicks of the mouse images are sent around the word. Literally. It still kind of blows my mind how fast things travel in today’s society.

Families who are rarely in the same state {or even country} can communicate easier today than ever before – phones, online chat services {think Skype, Facetime, & other such companies}, and of course there’s Facebook.

It amazes me the advances made in technology just during my lifetime. Computers have gone from being these ugly monstrosities to these handheld devices about the size of a magazine. Mobile phones have gone from these massive blocks that plug into the car to these slim-lined, smaller than your palm, fits in your pocket size gadget that most parents now use to appease their children.

Oh and then there’s GPS in nearly everything – cars, computers, phones. Nice little tracking devices that not only give you directions when you’re lost but help people find you if necessary.

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Shallow. Hollow. Empty.

Those words describe how I’m feeling at the moment. There are lots and lots and lots of thoughts running around in my head at the moment. Most of them asking, in some form or another, “What have I done with my life?!” And it’s not in a good way necessarily. Maybe the thoughts are more accurately asking, “How has my life influenced other people?”

Does my life influence others to live for God?

Does my life and my actions encourage others in a Godly and uplifting way?

Am I edifying?

I read a blog tonight written by a woman I consider a good friend, minus the fact we’re a bazillion miles apart and only had a few months of hanging out to get to  know each other. She is amazing. And her post tonight was incredibly thought-provoking, as it usually is.

It made me wonder what kind of person I have allowed myself to become. I sit here at the moment ready to have a blank slate and start over completely in order to allow God to mold me into the person I’m supposed to be. Because I truly don’t believe I’m there.

I’ve spent the last few minutes going through my twitter account and looking at who I’m following – all 2000 of them – and trying to remember why I chose to follow that person. I noticed there are quite a few baseball or other sports related people and teams I follow and I’m truly not a huge sports fan unless it’s football, or a team my own children are on. There’s no reason for me to follow most of them. I will be doing some revamping to my twitter account in the near future.

And don’t get me started on Facebook. In recent weeks I have gone through my friends list to remove people I don’t want influencing me any longer – there are still quite a few to go. But, that doesn’t mean I’m on Facebook any less. This has got to change. If I had a dollar for every minute I’ve spent on Facebook this year alone I’d probably have several hundred thousand dollars to my name. How sad is that?!

I’ve noticed recently how often I’ve said, “I can’t” or “We can’t”. That is so NOT how I believe but I’ve let it in and now that’s what’s coming out. It’s never been more true that what you allow into your life, heart, and soul is what comes out. I am incredibly picky of what i allow my children to watch because I know this. As a mom and as a Christian I know that my children will repeat whatever they hear. And, they repeat things I don’t always hear so that I end up questioning them on where they heard it. But, if I know how important it is for my children to have their games, movies, books, etc filtered why don’t I filter my own life anymore? When did if become okay that the world is so screwed up and to not actually do anything to try and change it? When has it ever been okay to look the other way when things go wrong? To write things off as, “that’s just how the world functions”?

When did my life become about me? It’s not about me. It’s never supposed to have been about me. Okay, don’t get me wrong on this. It is about me in the sense I have a family to raise and to provide for but aside from that it’s about Jesus. Why have I not seen this before now? Why haven’t I allowed myself to step out of my life long enough to see someone else’s life?

When did I become such a shallow, cynical person? I do know that in my chosen career field I need to be able to weed out the ‘seekers’ from those who truly need the help offered to them or the resources available. And I do remember an instance where a patient turned out to be an old ‘friend’ from high school. A good guy, who also turned out to be a ‘seeker’ and was just there to get something rather than being truly hurt/injured, etc. I can pretty much pinpoint that incident as my “going cynical” moment but I was headed that way before then.

How do I change this? How do I get back to being that person I once knew? The person who knew how to love deeply and passionately, who didn’t take, “no” for an answer?

When did I start believing that my reality is my reality? Did that make sense? I’m a single mom. So what?! So are 60-75% of single women out there. When did I start letting that influence God’s ability in my life?

For the last year, since I started a blog over here on WordPress really, I’ve been trying to document living a life of passion. That’s been my theme. My mantra. Even the name of my photography studio. A Life of Passion. Somewhere along the way I lost that. Or maybe I never had it to begin with and it’s just wishful thinking on my part. But, as of this moment, I am determined to take over my life again and get things back where they should be. Starting with Jesus.


Friday Favorites.

If you’re a Twitter user, more than likely you’re familiar with the tag #FF. Or, Friday Favorites. I’ll admit, it took me more than a few tries to figure it out but once I noticed the pattern (only happens on Friday’s) I got it.

I’ve also decided to do something similar with my blog. I’m going to list all of my favorite moments from the week (the ones I remember!). Those are things Twitter does not allow enough space for with the 140 character limit for me to go through and list.

So, no time like the present to start something!

My favorite moments from this week include:

Watching how excited E-man gets when he blows a bubble with bubble-gum!

Listening to ZigZag tell me just how sleepy he is in the mornings until I remind him that he gets to go to “big” school with E-man!

Having both boys cuddled up next to me reading Bible stories! (Really though, I can’t say no to them asking to read a Bible story.)

Peeking in on E-man long after his brother has fallen asleep only to see that he’s fallen asleep himself with his little lamp on and his Bible wide-open!

Watching ZigZag try to wink with his whole face scrunched up!

This weather has been amazing!

Just a few of my favorite things! I will try to keep a better list this coming week in order to give  a bit more details. I’m also going to try and add a few more features in order to be a little more motivated with updating.

Life has just been busy and that’s kind of an issue. Soccer 3 days a week – well 2 evenings/afternoons and 1 morning. Piano 1 evening a week plus any practice time at home. Not to mention E-man has homework nearly every weekday. Balance – that is my goal. And Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who give me strength”. To me, that means that I’ll be able to (with God’s help) balance life and keep up with what’s most important – my boys and teaching/showing them God’s love.


WBS 2010. Monday. 8:30AM.

Speaker: Karen Jensen

I was several minutes late to this service, sat down to start taking notes and discovered I’d left my notebook at home. Further investigation revealed the bookstore wouldn’t open til 9:30am. So, this post will be shorter than the rest. I’ll be relying on what I remember and what I managed to send out via Twitter.

She was speaking on the verses where Jesus and Peter both walk on the water.

Here’s what I was able to post via Twitter: (I’ll go into details in a bit.)

*Wind and waves have nothing to do with your miracle. You gotta hold fast to God’s words.

*If Satan can’t make you bad he’ll make you busy. Discipline yourself to listen and focus on God’s directions.

*Faith is based on knowing someone. Strengthen your knowing and you will strengthen your faith.

Matthew 14:22-33

22 And straightway he constrained the disciples to enter into the boat, and to go before him unto the other side, till he should send the multitudes away.23 And after he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into the mountain apart to pray: and when even was come, he was there alone.24 But the boat was now in the midst of the sea, distressed by the waves; for the wind was contrary.25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came unto them, walking upon the sea.26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a ghost; and they cried out for fear.27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee upon the waters.29 And he said, Come. And Peter went down from the boat, and walked upon the waters to come to Jesus.30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, Lord, save me.31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and took hold of him, and saith unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?32 And when they were gone up into the boat, the wind ceased.33 And they that were in the boat worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

First: Wind and waves have nothing to do with your miracle. You gotta hold fast to God’s words.

We’re not supposed to be able to walk on water. Even if the lake had been as flat as mirrored glass Peter should not have been able to walk on water. But he did. He was focused on Jesus and as long as he focused on Jesus Peter was able to walk on water. As soon as he focused on the wind and waves and let those things distract him, Peter started sinking.

Don’t let the wind and waves distract you from your miracles. Keep your focus.

Second: If Satan can’t make you bad he’ll make you busy. Discipline yourself to listen and focus on God’s directions.

She, Karen Jensen, had an illustration to explain focus. Prayer is like a rope and at the end of that rope is the answer or the miracle. So you pray and you pray and you pray some more. And each time you pray you’re bringing that answer or miracle closer to you. But when life happens, when the wind and the waves happen, and you get distracted, or you get busy, you forget to pray or lose your focus. It doesn’t mean that your answer isn’t coming or that your miracle won’t happen. It means you need to keep your focus on God and continue to trust in Him until such a time as your answer or miracle is revealed. (It’s much more effective when you see the rope tied to a bag and strewn about the stage!)

Third: Faith is based on knowing someone. Strengthen your knowing and you will strengthen your faith.

I love the illustration Karen used for this. She said, “If you needed $200 and I told you to call my dad way up in Oregon and ask him for it, would you?” Think about this. Karen knows her dad. She’s known him for her entire life. You and I have never met him so we do not know him. Karen wouldn’t hesitate to call her dad if she needs $200. You and I,  maybe we’re desperate enough to call him and maybe we wouldn’t but either way we don’t know him so we have no idea what his reaction would be to our request.

It is just like this with our Heavenly Father. The more we know Him, actually know Him, the stronger our faith is  that He will do what he said He would. Think about that.

Okay, that’s all I have from this session. It’s not a lot and it’s a little disjointed but hopefully you got something out of it!


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