Tag Archives: photography

True to Me.

This is potentially going to sound selfish but I want to talk about me. Keep reading and hear me out. I promise I am not as self-centered as it sounds.

There are things I want to do with my life. Desires I truly believe god has placed in my heart. What I’ve discovered in recent months is that I’ve become discouraged over not being able to fulfill those desires. Herein lies the problem. It’s not my job to fulfill those desires. It’s God’s. I get to listen to Him and follow His plan and in return my heart is happy.

So, what are those desires?

  • To write.
  • To photograph life.
  • To travel.
  • Music.
  • To help orphans.
  • Leadership.
  • To be true to me – the person God created me to be.
  • To raise my children by the standards of the image I have in my head – too difficult to really put into words. Suffice it to say, so they know beyond a shadow of a doubt they are not of this world.
  • To love deeply the life God has given me to live.
  • To trust.
  • To again be living the life I once knew – in the present and not the past.

There are other desires I will not mention here. And I can see how all of these, and others, will potentially intersect in the decently near future. I am excited! And a little bit scared.


Shallow. Hollow. Empty.

Those words describe how I’m feeling at the moment. There are lots and lots and lots of thoughts running around in my head at the moment. Most of them asking, in some form or another, “What have I done with my life?!” And it’s not in a good way necessarily. Maybe the thoughts are more accurately asking, “How has my life influenced other people?”

Does my life influence others to live for God?

Does my life and my actions encourage others in a Godly and uplifting way?

Am I edifying?

I read a blog tonight written by a woman I consider a good friend, minus the fact we’re a bazillion miles apart and only had a few months of hanging out to get to  know each other. She is amazing. And her post tonight was incredibly thought-provoking, as it usually is.

It made me wonder what kind of person I have allowed myself to become. I sit here at the moment ready to have a blank slate and start over completely in order to allow God to mold me into the person I’m supposed to be. Because I truly don’t believe I’m there.

I’ve spent the last few minutes going through my twitter account and looking at who I’m following – all 2000 of them – and trying to remember why I chose to follow that person. I noticed there are quite a few baseball or other sports related people and teams I follow and I’m truly not a huge sports fan unless it’s football, or a team my own children are on. There’s no reason for me to follow most of them. I will be doing some revamping to my twitter account in the near future.

And don’t get me started on Facebook. In recent weeks I have gone through my friends list to remove people I don’t want influencing me any longer – there are still quite a few to go. But, that doesn’t mean I’m on Facebook any less. This has got to change. If I had a dollar for every minute I’ve spent on Facebook this year alone I’d probably have several hundred thousand dollars to my name. How sad is that?!

I’ve noticed recently how often I’ve said, “I can’t” or “We can’t”. That is so NOT how I believe but I’ve let it in and now that’s what’s coming out. It’s never been more true that what you allow into your life, heart, and soul is what comes out. I am incredibly picky of what i allow my children to watch because I know this. As a mom and as a Christian I know that my children will repeat whatever they hear. And, they repeat things I don’t always hear so that I end up questioning them on where they heard it. But, if I know how important it is for my children to have their games, movies, books, etc filtered why don’t I filter my own life anymore? When did if become okay that the world is so screwed up and to not actually do anything to try and change it? When has it ever been okay to look the other way when things go wrong? To write things off as, “that’s just how the world functions”?

When did my life become about me? It’s not about me. It’s never supposed to have been about me. Okay, don’t get me wrong on this. It is about me in the sense I have a family to raise and to provide for but aside from that it’s about Jesus. Why have I not seen this before now? Why haven’t I allowed myself to step out of my life long enough to see someone else’s life?

When did I become such a shallow, cynical person? I do know that in my chosen career field I need to be able to weed out the ‘seekers’ from those who truly need the help offered to them or the resources available. And I do remember an instance where a patient turned out to be an old ‘friend’ from high school. A good guy, who also turned out to be a ‘seeker’ and was just there to get something rather than being truly hurt/injured, etc. I can pretty much pinpoint that incident as my “going cynical” moment but I was headed that way before then.

How do I change this? How do I get back to being that person I once knew? The person who knew how to love deeply and passionately, who didn’t take, “no” for an answer?

When did I start believing that my reality is my reality? Did that make sense? I’m a single mom. So what?! So are 60-75% of single women out there. When did I start letting that influence God’s ability in my life?

For the last year, since I started a blog over here on WordPress really, I’ve been trying to document living a life of passion. That’s been my theme. My mantra. Even the name of my photography studio. A Life of Passion. Somewhere along the way I lost that. Or maybe I never had it to begin with and it’s just wishful thinking on my part. But, as of this moment, I am determined to take over my life again and get things back where they should be. Starting with Jesus.


Cutest Child Contest.

It’s finally here!

A Life of Passion Photography

is holding a Cutest Child Contest!

Here’s how you enter:

Send the following items to alifeofpassion.jenn@gmail.com

  • A picture of your child – preferably one that shows off your child and not a group of children
  • A short paragraph (150 words or less) telling what makes your child so amazing and why they should win

There will be 2 winners who receive:

  • One free photo session – up to 2 hours in 1 location
  • One CD with printing rights of 10 images

You can enter more than one child. Please send a separate email/picture for each child entered. If you have 3 children that would require 3 email submissions.

All ages up to 18 accepted however, keep in mind that Senior portraits are not included in the free session if you are a winner. The area for this contest is within a two hour drive of the Tulsa, Oklahoma metro area.

Winners will be announced on or around March 1, 2011.


Updates.

School.

School is going great and is the main cause of slacking when it comes to blogging. SO MUCH HOMEWORK! No, really though, it’s not horrible. Anatomy & Physiology is keeping me pretty busy. Micro Computer Applications utilizes Microsoft Office 2010 – a software I’ve been using for months. Sociology I haven’t formed an opinion on yet as we only meet once a week and have only had one class so far. Orientation – I should have taken as a Freshman – I do like the instructor though so maybe I’ll actually get something out of it.

Work.

Work … is going. I do still like my job but with me going back to school the decision was made that I should probably resign. My last day to work at the ACE NET offices will be March 11, 2011. A bittersweet moment I should think. I do know that going back to school was the right thing to do and that’s truly where the peace is but I will miss my friends (co-workers) as well.

Boys.

Boys are HUGE!! Seriously. I can’t remember if I’ve stated this before or not but E-man can eat an entire 8 pieces of pizza all by himself  in ONE sitting! I can’t remember if that’s a large or a medium but you get the point. ZigZag has decided he doesn’t like food. Or rather, that he wants a teeny bit of everything – not even enough to equal one bite most times. I’ve decided I don’t like it when their food tastes change, especially because they tend to change just as I’ve gotten used to what they have been. Aside from food, both boys are doing great in school. And they’re wearing me out talking about which sports or musical adventures they want to challenge next! Soccer. Baseball. Cub Scouts. Karate. Swimming. Drums. Bass. Guitar. It’s enough to make me dizzy!!

Photography/Writing.

My passions. The things I do when I have nothing else to do – which is rare these days. Photography is on hold through the rest of January but I’m hoping to open February with a couple of contests that will be posted here so keep an eye out for those. Writing – what I would be doing. I’m feeling the need to write again so maybe I’ll start the outline for the book that’s been in my mind for ages.

Life in General.

Life is good. Very good. A few things I’m looking forward to: Winter Bible Seminar, Spring Break, Summer 🙂 Just to name a few. Oh, and snow!! Supposedly we’re getting snow tonight – we’ll have to wait and see how right the weather people are this time. 🙂 All in all, 2011 is looking to be a GREAT year!

I think that’s it for the moment. I know, it’s not as deep as some of the more recent posts I’ve done but life isn’t all about how deep it is. It’s all about how you handle what’s thrown at you – do you handle it with grace or do you crumble?


Ten Day Challenge. Day 4.

So, way over on my facebook page a friend challenged me to a 10 day challenge. Normally I won’t do these things but this one piqued my interest. It’s a quite a bit different than your normal “challenges”. At least what’s considered normal for Facebook these day! :)

Here’s the rules:

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day Ten: One confession.

Here’s my Day  4 –

Seven things that cross my mind:

1. Children. Mine. Other peoples. Orphans. How I can be a better mom and how to instill a love and passion in my own children for the children of the world? For those who don’t have Mommy’s and Daddy’s, Sister’s and Brothers, Aunts and Uncles. Those who don’t have Jesus and don’t have anyone to tell them how much He loves them.

2. Worship music. There is nothing greater than being in complete abandon to the One, our Saviour, who gave His all so we wouldn’t have to. I almost always have worship music playing and if it’s not playing I’m singing.

3. Prayer. I need to be doing more of this – especially in these days. In English and in the Holy Spirit. More for my kids and my family and friends. More for my church and other Christians in the world who are being persecuted. More for the US and our government – especially because I don’t agree with the majority of things happening right now politically. For direction and wisdom. For strength. I also need to keep encouraging my boys in prayer and making sure they know how to pray. I’ve not been great at this lately.

4. Photography. My thoughts run more to how I can improve this exponentially because it is something I so enjoy doing. Even more than that, how can I use this to tell the story of other people’s lives? To bring to attention those who’ve been forgotten, and those who people choose to ignore.

5. Writing. That dream I’ve had for ages and want to do something about. November is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I very much wanted to participate but knowing I couldn’t give it my full attention – not like I would want to anyway – I didn’t write one word. I fully believe that the dreams and desires we have are from God and so it’s hard for me sometimes when I think how God gave me a gift and a desire that I’m not using.

6. Focus. I’m not focused. I’m constantly multi-tasking a million things at once. Things at work. Things at home. Things with the boys. Even now, as I’m typing this I’m also editing pictures and carrying on several conversations. I would love to be able to focus on just one thing at a time so I can make sure it’s done with the quality it deserves. I enjoy getting things done quickly and multi-tasking allows that but there are so many times when I need just a little bit more time to get things done. I’m not a fan of short deadlines.

7. School. This ties into #6 somewhat because the thing I would like to focus most on right now – aside from my boys obviously – is getting back into school and finishing my degree. There are so many factors and variables involved here that at the moment I’m praying for direction and waiting on God’s timing.


On Photography.

I’ve made LOTS of new discoveries this week.

New labs.

New fonts.

New templates.

New business card ideas.

New intake form ideas.

New business plan ideas.

New mentor-type photogs.

I am SO very excited!!

You see, this time last year I was working for barely just over minimum wage in a retail studio with so many limitations that the creative juices were all but extinct. When I left that studio, I accepted a job working in the IT industry (completely different) with some of my closest friends and was ready to walk away from photography altogether. But, a funny thing happened, some of my clients from the retail studio followed me.

I wasn’t expecting this at all. I mean, I know there were clients who’d say how much they loved the portraits I took of their children or of their family but very few of them actually requested me so I took it as the compliment it was, said, “thank you”, and went on. No biggie.

But when a person makes the decision not to change something in their lives, even if that means tracking someone down on Facebook, that’s a big deal! Not many people knew I was leaving. Honestly, I didn’t know I was leaving until 2 days before when things just went all haywire and I had to do something. So, it’s not like I’d prepped them and said, “hey, why don’t you come with me”. This was done of their own freewill.

What a humbling thing that is.


Ten Day Challenge. Day 2.

So, way over on my facebook page a friend challenged me to a 10 day challenge. Normally I won’t do these things but this one piqued my interest. It’s a quite a bit different than your normal “challenges”. At least what’s considered normal for Facebook these day! :)

Here’s the rules:

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day Ten: One confession.

Here’s my Day 2 –

Nine things about myself:

1. I’m a dreamer and a realist. The dreamer side of me still wants to write children’s books and do photography full-time and be a freelance/travel writer. The realist side of me says I need to take care of my boys. The realist side wins but the dreamer gets visitation.

2. Some of my happiest memories are from years spent doing volunteer work at church. Everything from Acquire the Fire to NBCAA/USCAA basketball tournaments and whatever is in between. I am happiest in God’s presence.

3. I detest drama. With a passion. Even more so when I find that I have inadvertently created it just by saying a few little words in passing. This is what happens when people misconstrue stuff and don’t ask for clarification before spreading the words around.

4. I prefer conversations that aren’t singularly focused. So if we have different variations of the same conversation every time we speak don’t be offended if I look a little bored. You’re not keeping my interest and I’ve already voiced my opinion – probably multiple times. Continuing a previous conversation, however, is completely different.

5. I have systems and/or lists for just about everything. Doing things “fly by night” is very difficult for me because I like to have things planned. No, I’m not OCD, I just like to know what I’m getting into.

6. Contrary to popular belief I don’t like being the center of attention. Every once in a while it’s expected (birthdays and such) but not daily. I have no problem being extroverted but at the end of the day you’ll find me curled up with a book or asleep – not because I’m being rude but because I need to recharge.

7. I’m learning to be more organic and “green” when it comes to life. I fully believe we should be taking care of our Earth but that is also something that starts with the internal. Take care of things at home before trying to conquer the world.

8. I do want to get remarried at some point but I’m leaving it up to God to show me who’s best for me and the boys. No, I’m not dating anyone and am not a fan of blind dates. Yes, there is an interest and no it’s not up for discussion.

9. I absolutely love being a mom. And even though I work a lot now and may go back to school, I would honestly rather be able to stay home with them all the time. There’s so many things to do in a day that just a couple hours after work is not enough time to spend with them.


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