The last few days I’ve been very cranky and complained a lot. I don’t do sick very well. Pneumonia. Acute Bronchitis. Influenza Like Illness – which is just flu’s evil twin. Pressure on my chest. runny nose. Cough, congestion, etc. This has not been a fun week. However, in the process of realizing just how hateful I was being to everyone around me, I decided to count my blessings.

My husband & I are not perfect, nor is our marriage. Many times we are on vastly different pages when it comes to the kids, depending on the kid. But he is mine & I am his. And mostly he’s tried to take care of me this week. As much I have allowed him to that is. He has yet to master mind reading. 🙂

Our kids are far from perfect, but they are ours. Some days are calmer than others, but each kid is different and has different needs. I’ve been more than a little snappy, but they just keep loving me and telling me they hope I feel better soon. Well, except for when they’re saying I need a nap, which has been so true this week.

We have a roof over our heads, food in our pantry (for as long as it lasts with all of these bottomless pits running around!), beds to sleep in, and dirty laundry which means clothes to wear. We have some of the greatest friends anyone could ask for. Really, our most basic needs have always been met.

The last half of 2014 and most all of 2015 was incredibly rough. 2016 has started out not so great. When looking at all the things that have happened to us, it is so easy to see the negative at every turn. So easy in fact, it makes the positive needle in a haystack impossible. Even worse, it makes it so hard to pray because it has consumed us.

But, you know what? This year will be different. I have plans go make 2016 a phenomenal year. And, I cannot do that wallowing in the regrets, failures, and negatives of 2015.

The biggest blessing happened when I woke up today. I was honestly so scared last night that I wouldn’t wake up. Respiratory issues, however they are diagnosed, are super scary to me. I may have spent 5 hours this morning dealing with doctors, xrays, breathing treatments, and what have you.

But, I woke up.

Not just physically opening my eyes, but spiritually too. God and I had some serious words. Tears were shed. Seeing the things around me and not taking one ounce for granted. Reminding myself, and God, of His promises to me and mine.

Wake up.
I dare you.



Source: 35


I heard Joseph Prince preaching the other night about Paul and Silas (Acts 16:16-40). They were in prison and they were singing. They were experiencing possibly one of the worst moments of their lives and they were worshiping God. It was their midnight and they worshiped with reckless abandon.

There have been many midnights in my life. Divorce. Loss of security. Bad choices. Reckless behavior. All of that and more. I am human. I make mistakes. I also pay the consequences for those mistakes. More often than not the decisions that take me off my straight and narrow path turn into blessings in disguise. Because of my faith in God.

It’s not an unwavering faith but it is faith. I have spent many nights wallowing in self-pity, bawling my eyes out only to see the dawn break through the darkness. I have often turned to other humans, namely my parents and closest friends, for advice on situations before I have turned to God. I will be the first to admit, though it pains me to do so, that I have fallen out of the habit of calling on God first. He alone is my rock and my fortress. In Him I trust.

I have always read the story of Paul and Silas in jail as a more literal tale. They were singing at midnight, and probably annoying the other prisoners by doing so. Until I listened to Joseph Prince digging into the nitty-gritty, I never really considered the metaphorical sense of the verses or how they might apply to my life.

Right now, in my own life, I am facing a midnight. For the last three weeks I have been partially blind in my left eye. I have seen more doctors in the last few weeks than I have seen in probably the last three years. The official diagnosis from a retinal specialist is Idiopathic Subretinal Neovascular Membrane. Basically, my eye has created extra blood vessels under my retina. Those vessels have formed an abnormal membrane that is hemorrhaging, or leaking blood. The idiopathic part means that there is not clear cause. In my case it is most likely due to extreme nearsightedness and too many nights of reading in the near complete darkness. The treatment for this involves three monthly injections straight into my eye. Lasers are not an option because of the close proximity to my optic nerve and the increased chances of total blindness in that eye. The drug they are injecting into my (yes, that is as painful as it sounds) is one that was initially created to kill the tiny vessels that form in tumors in cancer patients, more or less a chemotherapy drug.

To say I was terrified at first would be understatement. I am a mother and the thought of forever losing sight of my boys faces left me crying myself to sleep more nights than I care to admit. I also just graduated from college and have so many opportunities ahead of me. The thought of not being able to live my life to it’s fullest, to live life right, is almost more than I can handle at times. I have to consciously stop myself from spiraling and just breathe.

There are so many verses on healing that I have learned to pray over the years.

  • Psalm 30:2 O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me.
  • Psalm 103:1-4 Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your inequities, heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies
  • Psalm 107:20 He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destruction
  • Proverbs 3:7-8 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones.
  • Proverbs 4:20-22 My son, give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes. Keep them in the midst of your heart; for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh.
  • Isaiah 53:5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our inequities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we ARE healed.
  • Jeremiah 17:14 Heal me O Lord, and I shall be healed; Save me and I shall be saved, For You are my praise
  • Jeremiah 30:17 “For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds,” says the Lord, “because they called you an outcast saying: ‘This is Zion; no one seeks her.’”
  • Matthew 4:23 And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people.
  • Matthew 8:16 When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick.
  • Matthew 14:14 And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them and healed their sick.
  • Luke 5:71 Now it happened on a certain day, as He was teaching, that there were Pharisees and teachers of the law sitting by, who had come out of every town of Galilee, Judea, and Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was present to heal them.
  • James 5:14-16 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, announcing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
  • Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
And so many others.

But yet, there are times when words escape me, and it becomes near impossible to pray. It is in those times when I cry out to God in worship. I come from a very musical family, and can sing with the best (yes, I am serious). I was also taught how to worship, truly worship my God. I don’t know the purpose behind this midnight. I have no clue how it will turn out in the end. But I know my God will take care of me. I will praise Him through this storm because I know the God of angel armies is ALWAYS by my side.


If you’ve been around recently you know that I have been silent. In fact, I believe my most recent post was several weeks ago, maybe even in November. Yikes. Everything has been wonderful. I opted to truly take the month of December off and enjoy my family.

No portrait sessions.

No homework.

No events.

No scouts.

No sports (save a couple of swim practices).

Just Family.

Anything that was unnecessary was put on a shelf to collect dust for a month or so while I paid attention to what is truly the most important part of my life.


And, if you’re my friend on Facebook or a follower on Twitter you are probably aware that my family will be expanding this Spring. I’m engaged to an amazing man with three boys of his own (anyone else just sing that phrase to the Brady Bunch tune?). Altogether we have five (FIVE?!) boys. I have a feeling Girl’s Nights are going to become more regular!

I have spent a good portion of this last month getting to know my fiance on an even deeper level. We share many of the same goals and have similar dreams. Our boys all get along great and we spent many, many hours together over Christmas allowing the boys to just play, hang out, and just feel how it would be to merger our families. So far, so good.

You can expect many of my blog posts over the next few month to be about school (this is my final semester!) and marriage. My plan is to be on a different level, a deeper level, of thought so that my posts are not all shallow but rest assured I am not perfect. I am fairly certain there will be posts that appear shallow to some but will hopefully help someone who needs to see life from that perspective.

My hope is to post on a more regular basis but I make no promises at this point.


Thanksgiving. Day 26.

Today I am thankful for the

Administrators and Teachers

at my little one’s school.

Today is Monday, not just any Monday but a Monday that follows a long break full of no bedtimes, travel, food, and fun. At drop-off this morning my little one had a complete and total meltdown. I was able to walk him into the office, sit with him while the tears abated, and then leave him in the office knowing he was in fabulous hands.

It makes

my heart super happy

to know I can trust the school staff with the well-being of my kiddos.

Thanksgiving. Day 22.

Today I am thankful that

Christopher Columbus

decided to stay in America,


Plymouth Rock 

was discovered,


Amerigo Vespucci

decided to explore further,


the First Thanksgiving

happened without regard to race.

Thanksgiving. Day 21.

Today I am thankful for


It’s the one fruit of the Spirit I struggle the most with.










Out of all of those patience is the hardest for me to achieve. Lately though, I’ve been making a conscious effort to be much more patient and to remember that

“patience is a virtue.”

I am learning to see the bigger picture and to “wait it out” instead of rushing through life like a crazy person.

Life is definitely worth the wait.

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